Why Am I The Way I Am? Simple 6 Psychological Reasons

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Written By Muhammad Saad

I'm a psychologist dedicated to evidence-based research in psychology, covering diverse aspects of the field.

Life’s a maze, right? We all wonder why we act the way we do. Well, turns out, Here are 5 key psychological reasons with experience’s and practical examples.. 🧠

The Inner Game of the Mind

1.Childhood Woes and Wins

Childhood sets the stage for who we are. The stuff that went down when you were a kid? Yeah, it’s like the blueprint for your grown-up self. Good or bad, those experiences shape you. If you had an easy ride, you’re probably a chill person. But if it was all over the place, you might be carrying some battle scars.

The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive all others, you will never, ever be free.
Mishon Jennings

The Friends We Keep

Ever heard the saying, “Show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future”? It’s not just words, bro. Our crew influences us big time. Surround yourself with winners, and you’re likely to level up.

Love and Relationships

Love makes the world go ’round. – Whoever said it first

Our love life’s a maze of emotions. Healthy relationships bring joy, while toxic ones can mess you up. Love ain’t just a feeling; it’s a game-changer.


Our genes play a big role in determining things like our temperament, intelligence levels. Studies of twins separated at birth have shown that genetics account for about 50% of the differences in personality between individuals (Plomin et al., 2013). So if your parents were shy or anxious, there’s a good chance some of those traits were passed down to you.

3.Life Experiences and Personal Choices

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” – Mark Twain
As we go through different stages of life and face various challenges, we develop certain beliefs about ourselves and the world. Our responses to stress, failures, and successes shape our self-esteem and outlook. Importantly, we also have free will – the choices we make, both big and small, influence the course of our lives. Maintaining an open and flexible mindset allows for growth.

4.Coping Styles Learned Over Time

The way you think, the way you behave, the way you talk, can be fearful, can be loving. Now, if you have learnt to think and talk in a peaceful way then you are a blessing to everybody.” – Eckhart Tolle
We develop habitual patterns or default modes of responding to stress, problems, and strong emotions. Anxious people may worry, avoidant people may withdraw, and so on. These coping styles, once ingrained, can maintain problematic behaviors or thought patterns over time (Lazarus and Folkman, 1984). However, with effort we can learn healthier ways of managing stress and emotions.

In conclusion, a combination of biological and situational factors all come together to shape our personalities. Understanding these influences can help us gain self-awareness, become more accepting of ourselves and others, and continue growing into the best version of who we are meant to be. While the past plays a role, the future is ours to direct.

5.What I believe is true

If we think we are shy, we will act shy and feel shy, making shyness a fact. Studies show thinking positive builds confidence over time by changing what we feel inside. Amy feels surer of herself now, “Believing in myself has really helped me step out of my shell.” Our mind has power to change who we are.

6.Brain Chemistry: The Cocktail Mixer

Neurotransmitters, the brain’s chemical messengers, influence mood and behavior. As psychologist David Servan-Schreiber notes, “Our thoughts and emotions are linked to the chemistry of our brain.

Imagine your brain as a DJ booth, spinning the tracks of your emotions. Serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine – they’re the DJs dropping beats that shape your vibe.

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