Feeling Like A Burden As A Child

Photo of author
Written By Muhammad Saad

I'm a psychologist dedicated to evidence-based research in psychology, covering diverse aspects of the field.

Do you struggle with guilt or shame?

“You’ve always been enough, even when you didn’t feel it.”

– Oprah Winfrey

Many of us feel we’re not good enough due to emotional neglect as kids. Without proper love, the soul starves causing lifelong problems. But there is hope!

What is emotional neglect?

It means caregivers didn’t meet emotional needs for affection, attention or feeling valued. This leaves deep scars making us feel worthless as adults. I struggled with this too.

How it impacts you

We adopt codependent or insecure behaviors trying to please caregivers with their own pain. As Brené Brown said, “Our willingness to stay small in our lives keeps our hearts small.” This ‘baggage’ still affects me daily like anxiety in relationships. I work hard counteracting these thought patterns.

Beating yourself up won’t help

If caregivers weren’t able to show love due to their issues, that’s not our fault. We need to embrace ourselves with compassion instead of shame. “The meaning of life is to find your gift,”

“The purpose of life is to give it away.” – Oprah

Easier said than done! I remind myself “this isn’t who I am, it’s just old programming.”

Loving your ‘inner child

A child hugging themselves in a dark room with a small glowing light shining through

This means befriending past pain, understanding why we think love requires being “good enough” versus our innate worth. Focus on nurturing your inner self like you wished to be nurtured as a kid. Daily self-care and reflection aids this process tremendously in my experience.

You don’t have to do it alone

Speak with loved ones who understand emotional neglect’s effects. Surround yourself with caring people as healing takes place. Counseling or support groups provide this safe space to work through struggles. You’ve survived hard times and better days are ahead – I believe in you!

It Helps Also : Why Do I Feel Like A Burden

Leave a Comment